Why “Thinking of You?” Is So Powerful

Hearing those three simple words can change someone’s perspective, make their day better, and assure them they are not alone in the world. Think of a time when someone reached out to you to say they were thinking of you. Do you remember how it made you feel? If someone on your mind could use a lift, consider sending them a Thinking of You card.

Three Simple “Thinking of You” Rules

Not sure what to write for a thinking of you card? Fear not. This article will provide some ideas to help you get your thoughts on paper. Here are three simple rules by Peter Frigeri:

• Keep it short and avoid rambling (which can lead to saying something wrong or diluting the message). A sentence or two is often all that’s needed.
• Keep it simple. Go for clear over clever or funny. And don’t feel you have to use poetic, flowery language if that’s just not you.
• Keep it appropriate. Remember who you’re writing it for and stay authentic to the relationship you have with the recipient. 

What’s Your Thinking of You Card Purpose?

When it comes to the content, consider the purpose of the message. Are you missing someone and want to reconnect or are you sending it to someone going through a hard time and want to offer support? If you have become distant and your note is intended to reconnect and restart the conversation, you may want to address why the lost connection (without placing blame). Some examples: It’s been a while…, sorry we lost touch…, I think about you often. If your note is to offer support to someone going through a difficult time, opt for a message that balances empathy and acknowledgement of the difficult situation. Some examples: I know you are going through a difficult time; I am sorry you are having to deal with {XYZ}. If appropriate, you can follow the supportive message with an offer for tangible support (but only if you are genuinely going to follow up). Some examples for general positive support: sending positive vibes; you are stronger than you know; sending hugs and comfort.

Adding a Personal Touch

For an added personal touch, if you have some inside joke or phrase that will bring a smile, feel free to add as appropriate. Some examples include a favorite movie or book quote, music lyric, affectionate nickname or other inside banter that you share. If humor is your thing, you can always offer something funny, but only if you and the recipient are on the same page and it will be taken the right way. Remember that written messages are far more at risk of being misinterpreted than anything you say in person.

Finally, if there is some action or response you hope to incite with the note, consider opening the door with a few inviting words. Examples include: “Let’s catch up soon”, “Text me if you are feeling up to a call”, or “I see me, you and coffee in our future. What do you think?”.

Some Inspiration and Special Considerations

To take the pressure off, it is always a good idea to draft your thoughts in your phone or on scratch paper first – that way it doesn’t have to be perfect the first time (and leave you with a $6 card in the trash).

Some Special Considerations for a Thinking of You Note to Someone with Cancer

If the person you are reaching out to has cancer or is going through a difficult time, be careful not to fall in the trap of saying things that are dismissive or might come off wrong. You can check out our blog on what to say / not say to someone with cancer to see some examples that help you avoid these pitfalls. Below are a few examples for a Thinking of You card to consider.

Some Helpful Thinking of You Card Examples

General Support Note (neighbor, classmate, co-worker):

• I can’t imagine what you are going through. I hope this card brings a smile, peace and strength.
• I can’t imagine what you are going through. I hope this card brings you a smile and brightens your day.
• I am sorry you are going through such a difficult time. I hope this card brings you a smile and brightens your day.

Friend or Family Support Note:

• I am sorry you are going through such a difficult time. I can’t imagine how it must feel. I am thinking of you and hope this card brightens your day. Wishing you better days ahead.
• You have been on my mind a lot. I hope this card brings you a smile and brightens your day. Sending hugs. Text me if you are feeling up to it. I would love to catch up.
• It’s been a while! Thinking of you and sending along a smile to brighten your day. Text me if you are feeling up for a visit. I would love to see you.

In Summary

In summary, keep it short, simple and appropriate. If you still need assistance with the Thinking of You note, you can always search online for ideas. There are lots of great examples out there.  If you just can’t find the words or right sentiment for someone with cancer, check out Em and Friends. Founded by a cancer survivor, they have a great selection of empathy cards, and there is bound to be at least one card with the perfect words. Good luck and try not to let your fear of saying the wrong thing get in your way.  A simple note with your thoughtful words will make a difference.