Supporting a Loved One with Cancer Through Wedding Planning

b-present Team | November 8, 2024

Watching a loved one with cancer plan their wedding is a beautiful experience filled with unique challenges and opportunities for joy. Your support can help create a celebration that reflects their resilience, love, and story. Here are meaningful ways to support them along the way.

Honor Their Vision and Choices

Planning a wedding while navigating cancer may lead to unique choices that reflect both the couple’s love story and health needs. Sometimes, these non-traditional decisions can lead to misunderstandings with guests.

Metastatic Breast Cancer Thriver and b-present board member Chiara Riga shared her experience with TODAY:

“For our wedding, David and I decided that instead of dancing, we’ll have a games night after the dinner service. One of our favorite hobbies is playing board games, and we loved the idea of having all of our favorite people in one room to play games with us. But after we sent our save-the-dates and let people know the plan, what was supposed to be a fun way to keep the wedding day accessible for me turned into a disappointment for our guests. From some being upset that there would be no dancing to others saying they would make their own dance floor if they had to, it became clear that this was a highly unpopular decision. While I’m sure all of the people who complained would have been understanding if we explained the decision was made in order to accommodate my disability, we didn’t want my cancer to crash the wedding. We are still planning on having a games night and we won’t be dancing, but the feedback has certainly dampened the excitement.”

As a supporter, make an extra effort to validate their choices and show enthusiasm for the way they’re choosing to celebrate. Reassuring them that it’s okay to do things their way can help them stay true to themselves.

Offer Day-Of Support

On the big day, offer to manage logistics and last-minute tasks so they can enjoy each moment. Taking care of small details or simply being present allows them to focus on their loved ones without added stress.

Do’s and Don’ts for Supporting a Loved On with Cancer During Wedding Planning

Do validate their choices – Show excitement for the unique ways they want to celebrate.
Don’t impose your own ideas or expectations – Avoid pressuring them to follow typical wedding norms.
Do offer practical help without taking over – Let them lead and follow their cues for help.
Don’t assume you know what’s best – It’s best to check in first on their current needs
Do respect their energy levels – Allow space for breaks and rest without over-scheduling.
Don’t dismiss their emotions – Let them process all feelings, from joy to anxiety.
Do make them feel special – Small gestures, like a pampering day or confidence-boosting outfit, can make a difference.
Don’t forget about day-of support – Offer help with logistics to reduce stress on the big day.

Stay Flexible and Supportive

Remain adaptable if unexpected changes arise. Health needs may fluctuate, so let them know that their well-being is what matters most. Reassuring them that their happiness is the priority helps keep the focus on the beauty of the moment.

With your support, your loved one can create a celebration that honors their love in meaningful ways. By celebrating their choices, offering practical help, and being there emotionally, you can help make their wedding experience joyful, unforgettable, and true to them.

“Today I am completely in love with a man who loves every part of me, who isn’t scared of my diagnosis, and who makes me happier than I have ever been before. I have a group of 50 incredible people who are willing to fly from around the world to watch me marry that man, to celebrate with me, to share in the joy and also to be there for me when things get hard. Here I am, four years into a terminal cancer diagnosis, with only two words for this disease: not today.”-Chiara Riga

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Chiara 🎀 (@chiaravscancer)

Extra Support: Wish Upon a Wedding

Have you heard of Wish Upon a Wedding? This compassionate non-profit organization grants dream weddings and vow renewals for couples facing terminal illnesses or serious health challenges. If you or someone you love could benefit, visit Wish Upon a Wedding’s website to learn more or apply for support.

Want more?

communication workbook