Life after cancer, often called survivorship, is a unique experience filled with challenges and rewards. It encompasses the period after cancer treatment, during which individuals may still grapple with the lingering physical, emotional, and psychological effects of the disease.
Misconceptions: The Reality of Post-Treatment
It is crucial to dispel the misconception that survivorship implies the end of the cancer experience and a seamless return to one’s pre-diagnosis life. In reality, many survivors grapple with enduring physical, emotional, and psychological repercussions long after treatment concludes. They may continue to face challenges such as fatigue, pain, and emotional distress and may need ongoing medical follow-up and support.
Adjusting to the “New Normal”
Unfortunately, resuming their previous routines and seamlessly integrating back into their everyday lives is unattainable for countless survivors. The experience can impact their lives long-term, and they may need time to adjust to their “new normal.”
Tips for Meaningful Support: How You Can Make a Difference
If you’re a friend, family member, or co-worker, here are some valuable tips to provide meaningful support to someone who has completed cancer treatment:
Listen and Validate: Listen to them attentively and validate their feelings without passing judgment.
Explore Resources: Help them explore available resources and support networks, such as cancer support groups, counseling services, and specialized rehabilitation programs.
Encourage Follow-Up: Encourage regular follow-up appointments with their healthcare team as they navigate life after cancer.
Practice Patience: Practice patience and understanding when they need time off for follow-up appointments or to manage lingering side effects.
Respect Privacy: Respect their privacy and refrain from sharing information about their diagnosis or treatment without their explicit permission.
Be Supportive: Remember that adjusting to life after cancer takes time, so be patient and supportive as they navigate this new phase.
Behaviors to Avoid: Promoting a Supportive Environment
Here are some certain behaviors to avoid when supporting someone who has completed cancer treatment:
Avoid Assumptions: Avoid assuming that their cancer experience is over or expecting them to revert to their pre-diagnosis life effortlessly.
Respect Boundaries: Refrain from pressuring them to discuss their cancer experience if they are not ready or willing.
Work Consideration: Do not make assumptions about their ability to work or perform their usual duties.
Equal Treatment: Treat them with the same respect and consideration as before their cancer diagnosis, avoiding any differential treatment.
Maintain Confidentiality: Never disclose information about their diagnosis or treatment without obtaining their explicit consent.
Empowering Life Beyond Cancer: Providing Ongoing Support
Life after cancer presents a distinctive journey that necessitates ongoing support and empathy. It is vital to acknowledge and validate the enduring physical, emotional, and psychological effects that individuals, particularly young adults, may face post-treatment. By providing them with the necessary support and resources, we can empower them to navigate this new chapter in their lives.
Resilience refers to the ability to adapt and bounce back from difficult experiences, and it is an important aspect of the adolescent and young adult cancer experience. Adolescents and young adults diagnosed with cancer may face a wide range of challenges, including physical changes, emotional distress, and disruptions to their daily lives. Resilience can help them navigate these challenges and build the skills and resources they need to cope with the residual effects of the disease.
Factors that contribute to resilience
Several factors contribute to resilience in the context of cancer. These include a positive outlook, strong social support, and access to resources and information. Additionally, having a sense of control over one’s life and being able to find meaning in the cancer experience can also contribute to resilience.
Resilience can be especially important for adolescents and young adults because they are still developing their sense of identity and independence. A cancer diagnosis can disrupt these developmental processes and make it difficult for them to navigate their new reality. Resilience can help them to maintain a sense of control over their lives, even in the face of a challenging illness.
How to increase resilience
There are several steps that can be taken to increase resilience in the context of the adolescent and young adult cancer experience. These include:
Building a strong support network: Surrounding oneself with a supportive group of friends, family members, and healthcare professionals can provide a sense of connection and belonging, which can help to increase resilience.
Finding meaning in the cancer experience: Reflecting on the cancer experience and finding meaning in it can help to make sense of the challenges and provide a sense of purpose.
Practicing self-care: Engaging in activities that promote physical and emotional well-being, such as exercise, relaxation techniques, and mindfulness, can help to increase resilience.
Seeking professional help: Talking to a counselor, therapist, or other mental health professional can provide a safe space to process emotions and develop coping strategies.
Staying informed: Staying informed about cancer, treatment options, and available resources can help to increase a sense of control and empower adolescents and young adults to make informed decisions about their care.
Resilience is a process, and it will look different for every person. It is a skill that can be learned and practiced and will take time to develop. It is crucial to have patience and understanding with oneself and the adolescents and young adults in our lives going through this process.
Conclusion
In conclusion, resilience is essential to the adolescent and young adult cancer experience. It can help adolescents and young adults to navigate the challenges of cancer and build the skills and resources they need to cope with the long-term effects of the disease. By building a strong support network, finding meaning in the cancer experience, practicing self-care, seeking professional help, and staying informed, we can increase our resilience and help the adolescents and young adults in our lives to do the same.
Survivor’s guilt is a complex psychological phenomenon that can arise in individuals who have survived traumatic events, such as cancer. It encompasses a range of emotions, including guilt, shame, and self-blame, experienced by those who have come through a harrowing ordeal while others did not.
The Unique Challenges Faced by Cancer Survivors
Cancer survivors often find themselves grappling with survivor’s guilt in various ways. They may feel an overwhelming sense of guilt for receiving treatment and ultimately surviving, while others who had the same diagnosis were not as fortunate. Moreover, they may experience guilt for moving forward with their lives while witnessing fellow patients still dealing with their illness. They may also feel guilty for being a burden on their family and children, that continues even though they have survived. These feelings of guilt can lead to a profound sense of isolation, depression, and anxiety.
The Ripple Effect: Survivor’s Guilt in Support Community Members
It’s important to recognize that survivor’s guilt is not exclusive to cancer patients. Even individuals who support cancer survivors, such as their family and friends, can also experience this guilt. They may find themselves burdened by guilt for not having faced the same struggles as the survivor or for not being able to fully comprehend and support them. They may also feel guilty that their loved one survived while other patients they met during the experience have not.
Recognizing the Signs: Identifying Survivor’s Guilt
Identifying the signs of survivor’s guilt can be challenging, as they may manifest differently in each individual. However, there are certain common indicators to watch out for. These include persistent feelings of guilt or shame, a sense of isolation from others, depression, and anxiety.
Seeking Support: Coping Strategies for Survivor’s Guilt
Coping with survivor’s guilt requires seeking support from reliable sources such as friends, family, or a therapist. Opening up about your feelings and experiences can help you process and gain a better understanding of them. It is crucial to prioritize self-care and engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Remember, it is normal to experience a range of emotions and feelings about your survival, and it is vital to grant yourself the time and space needed to navigate through them.
Moving Forward Together
It is essential to understand that survivor’s guilt is a natural response to trauma and you are not alone in your feelings of guilt. Seeking the support of loved ones, practicing self care, and processing your feelings with the help of a professional counselor or therapist are all effective strategies to help work through these feelings and move forward.
By acknowledging and understanding survivor’s guilt, we can provide the necessary support and resources to help survivors and their support networks cope with the aftermath. Remember, you are not alone, and with the right tools and assistance, it is possible to move toward a brighter future.
In the realm of cancer care, a group of individuals provides unwavering support, compassionate care, and a ray of hope to patients and their families during their most challenging moments. They are the oncology nurses—the unsung heroes who tirelessly work behind the scenes, dedicating their lives to improving the lives of others. During the month dedicated to honoring these remarkable individuals, the b-present Foundation invites you to join us in celebrating Oncology Nurses Month and recognizing the invaluable contributions of these extraordinary healthcare professionals.
The Role of Oncology Nurses
Oncology nurses play a vital role in the comprehensive care of cancer patients. They are often the first point of contact for patients, and their role extends far beyond administering medication or monitoring vital signs. These compassionate individuals provide emotional support, educate patients and their families about treatment options and side effects, assist with pain management, and facilitate communication between patients, families, and the broader healthcare team.
The Backbone of Cancer Care
Nurses are the backbone of cancer care, working diligently to ensure patients receive the highest level of care and comfort throughout their cancer experience. They possess a unique blend of medical expertise, empathy, and resilience, allowing them to navigate cancer patients’ physical, emotional, and psychological challenges. Whether administering chemotherapy, assisting in radiation therapy, or providing end-of-life care, oncology nurses consistently demonstrate exceptional professionalism and unwavering dedication.
Advocates for Patients and Families
Beyond their clinical responsibilities, oncology nurses also serve as advocates for patients and their families. They are a voice of reassurance, compassionately addressing concerns and providing guidance throughout treatment. Oncology nurses understand that effective communication and shared decision-making are crucial in empowering patients to actively participate in their care. By fostering strong relationships built on trust and empathy, they ensure that patients feel heard and supported every step of the way.
Continual Learning and Professional Development
Nursing is a constantly evolving field, with advancements in treatment options, technology, and research occurring at a rapid pace. Oncology nurses recognize the importance of staying up-to-date with the latest developments and are committed to ongoing learning and professional development. They attend conferences, engage in research initiatives, and participate in specialized training programs to enhance their knowledge and skills. This dedication allows them to provide the highest standard of care to their patients and contribute to advancing cancer treatment.
The Emotional Toll and Self-Care
Caring for cancer patients can take an emotional toll on nurses. Witnessing the physical and emotional struggles that patients endure can be challenging and heartbreaking. However, these compassionate professionals understand the importance of self-care and support systems to maintain their own well-being. Hospitals and healthcare organizations have an important role in providing resources and fostering a supportive environment that promotes the mental and emotional well-being of oncology nurses.
Expressing Our Gratitude
During Oncology Nurses Month, it is essential to recognize and express our deepest gratitude to the remarkable oncology nurses who provide unwavering care and support to cancer patients and their families. Their commitment, resilience, and compassion inspire hope and make a profound impact on the lives of those they serve. Whether through a simple thank-you note, a heartfelt gesture, or participating in events that honor their invaluable contributions, join us in showing our appreciation for these unsung heroes and their dedication.
Cancer is a devastating disease that affects not only the individual diagnosed but also their loved ones and support community. Adolescents and young adults (AYAs) with cancer face unique challenges, including the physical and emotional toll of treatment, the possibility of long-term health complications, and the impact on their education and career aspirations. One aspect often overlooked is the importance of mental health for these individuals.
Mental health is crucial for overall well-being and can significantly impact the quality of life for adolescents and young adults with cancer. They may experience a range of emotions, including fear, anxiety, depression, and stress. The physical symptoms of cancer and the side effects of treatment can exacerbate these emotions. It is important to recognize that mental health struggles are common and normal for individuals in this situation and to provide them with support and resources.
How to provide support
One way to support the mental health of adolescents and young adults with cancer is to provide them with access to professional counseling and therapy. This can be critical for those who are struggling to cope with their diagnosis and treatment. It can also be helpful for family members and friends to seek support for themselves, as caring for a loved one with cancer can be emotionally taxing.
Another way to support the mental health of adolescents and young adults with cancer is to provide them with opportunities for socialization and connection. Being around friends and loved ones can provide a sense of normalcy and remind them that they are not alone in their struggles. It can also be helpful to connect them with support groups of individuals who have gone through similar experiences.
Allow them a sense of control
It is also essential for adolescents and young adults with cancer to have a sense of control and autonomy over their treatment and care, which may include allowing them to be involved in decision-making regarding their treatment and providing them with information and resources to make informed decisions.
Take care of yourself too
Remember: You can’t be a good supporter if you’re running on empty. Balance your own needs with the needs of your friend. Whether that’s ensuring you schedule in your own self-care, start therapy, etc., think about what you need in order to feel like you can support your friend without sacrificing your own well-being
In summary, mental health is crucial for overall well-being, especially for adolescents and young adults with cancer. Recognize that mental health struggles are common and normal for individuals in this situation and provide them with access to professional counseling, opportunities for socialization and connection, and a sense of control over their treatment and care. By providing support and resources, we can help these individuals navigate their cancer journey with as much resilience and grace as possible.
Empathy and compassion are crucial for adolescents and young adults with cancer and their support community. Cancer can be a difficult and trying experience, and it can be easy for misunderstandings and hurt feelings to arise. However, empathy and compassion can help to build understanding and support during this challenging time.
What’s the difference?
Sympathy is defined as “the feeling that you care about and are sorry about someone else’s trouble, grief, misfortune, etc.” Being sympathetic is a kind gesture and can create some feeling of support, but empathy is a much better way to connect with someone going through hard times.
Empathy is defined as “the feeling that you understand and share another person’s experiences and emotions.” In other words, you can share someone else’s feelings. You don’t only hear their words; you feel them.
With sympathy, supporters tend to feel sorry for the person struggling, creating feelings of pity. These feelings of pity or messages like “you poor thing” are unhelpful and can make the person who needs support feel like nobody understands them, leading to feelings of isolation. By swapping out sympathy for empathy, supporters can hear their loved one’s perspective more clearly, leading to more helpful support. Empathy connects people and creates a space for mutual understanding and genuine compassion.
Empathy and compassion can provide a sense of understanding and validation for adolescents and young adults with cancer. They may feel isolated and alone in their experience, and empathy and compassion can help them to feel heard and understood. Additionally, it can help to build trust and open up lines of communication, which can be especially important during this difficult time.
Empathy and compassion can also be important for the support community of adolescents and young adults with cancer. They may have their own struggles and frustrations and may struggle with feelings of helplessness or anger. Empathy and compassion can help them understand the experience of the young person with cancer and provide a sense of validation for their feelings.
How to have more empathy and compassion
Empathy and compassion are not innate. They can be learned and improved. Here are some tips to help improve both for the patient and the support community:
Listen actively: Give your full attention to the conversation and try understanding the other person’s perspective. This can help to build understanding and trust.
Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness can help you to be more present and aware of your own emotions and the emotions of others.
Take a step back: Sometimes, it can be helpful to take a step back and try to understand the situation from a different perspective.
Show your support: Showing your support can help to validate the other person’s feelings and provide a sense of understanding.
Educate yourself: Educating yourself about cancer, its treatments, and the experience of young people with cancer can help you to understand and empathize with their experience.
Forgiveness is essential to any relationship, but it can be especially crucial for adolescents and young adults with cancer and their support community. Cancer is a life-changing event that can turn a person’s world upside down, causing immense physical and emotional pain and a whirl of misunderstandings and hurt feelings. It can be challenging to move forward from such a traumatic experience. Forgiveness can be a powerful tool to help young adult cancer patients and survivors heal from the emotional wounds caused by the disease.
What is forgiveness?
Forgiveness is the act of letting go of anger, resentment, and bitterness toward oneself or others. It is not an easy task, but it can be transformative. The person facing cancer may feel guilty or ashamed about their diagnosis and blame themselves for its impact on their relationships. Understanding that cancer is not their fault can help them release feelings of guilt and move forward. Forgiving oneself for the physical and emotional changes caused by cancer, such as hair loss or fertility issues, can also be a crucial step toward healing.
Additionally, forgiving others for their actions or lack thereof can release the negative energy and emotions that may have been holding one back. Forgiveness will help mend these relationships and allow young adult cancer patients and survivors to move forward with the support of loved ones.
In addition to the perspective of the cancer patient, it is also important to consider the role of supporters in the forgiveness process. When a loved one is diagnosed with cancer, family members and friends may also experience anger, resentment, and other negative emotions toward the disease or those they feel are responsible for it.
Supporters may struggle with feelings of guilt or regret, questioning whether they could have done something to prevent the cancer. They may also feel anger toward medical professionals, researchers, or society as a whole for not finding a cure or better treatments.
Forgiveness can be just as important for supporters as for cancer patients. Holding onto anger and resentment can strain relationships and cause additional stress and anxiety during an already difficult time. By practicing forgiveness, supporters can let go of negative emotions and focus on providing love, support, and care for their loved one. Supporters can offer encouragement and support as the cancer patient works through the forgiveness process, but it’s not always easy.
Here are some tips that can help in the process of forgiveness:
Acknowledge the hurt: Recognize and acknowledge the hurt that has been caused. This can validate both parties’ feelings and provide a sense of understanding.
Communicate: Communication is key to forgiveness. Talk openly and honestly about the hurt caused, and listen actively to the other person’s perspective.
Take responsibility: If you have caused hurt, take responsibility for your actions. This can help to show the other person that you are truly sorry and willing to make amends.
Practice empathy: Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and understand their feelings. This can help to build compassion and understanding.
Let go: Forgiveness is about letting go of negative emotions and moving forward together. Focus on the present and the future rather than dwelling on the past.
Ultimately, forgiveness is a process that can benefit both cancer patients and their supporters. It can strengthen relationships, promote resilience, and lead to a greater sense of peace and acceptance in the face of adversity. By letting go of anger, resentment, and blame, individuals can focus on healing, both physically and emotionally.
Cancer is a difficult and life-changing experience that can significantly impact an individual’s mental and emotional well-being. Good communication skills can help build trust, alleviate anxiety, and improve the overall experience of managing cancer. These skills are essential when seeking or offering support after a cancer diagnosis. Without clear communication, problems can arise, expectations can go unmet, feelings can get hurt, and the mental health of all involved can suffer as anxiety, fear, withdrawal, and isolation mount.
Active Listening
The first step in practicing good communication is to be an active listener. This means giving your full attention to the person speaking, acknowledging their feelings, and responding in a supportive and empathetic manner.
For example, if a friend is telling you about their cancer diagnosis, listening attentively, validating their feelings, and expressing your support is critical.
Be Honest
Another important aspect of good communication is being honest and transparent. This means being truthful about what you know and what you don’t know and avoiding giving false hope or sugarcoating the situation.
For example, be honest and acknowledge when you don’t know what to say. This is likely new territory for both of you, and it’s okay not to know what to say. You can embrace the silence and use it as quiet time to reflect.
Respect Boundaries
Remember to be respectful of the person’s boundaries and needs. This means being sensitive to their emotional state, mindful of their physical limitations, and respecting their decisions.
For example, if a colleague is undergoing chemotherapy, be mindful of their fatigue and avoid scheduling meetings at times that would be difficult for them.
Avoid poor communication practices
Interrupting the person speaking
Dismissing their feelings
Giving unsolicited advice
For example, if a friend is telling you about their cancer diagnosis and you interrupt them with your own story or dismiss their feelings by saying something like “at least it’s not stage 4,” it can make them feel unsupported and invalidated.
Communication is a two-way street
Good communication is a two-way street and is key to every aspect of the cancer experience, the quality of our connections, and ultimately our experience as a survivor or supporter. Remember to be aware of your own communication style and be open to learning and practicing different techniques to support and help others in the best possible way.
Adolescents and young adults with cancer face a unique set of challenges, particularly when it comes to isolation. The physical, emotional, and social effects of cancer can make it difficult for them to maintain connections with their peers, leading to feelings of loneliness and isolation. This can be a difficult experience for any young person, but it can be especially challenging for those going through cancer treatment. And the health risks of feeling lonely and isolated are the equivalent of smoking 15 cigarettes a day. We owe it to each other to do what we can to reduce the impact of isolation and help avoid this added health risk. It will improve the quality of life and health outcomes for those in our community touched by cancer.
Social isolation can be felt in many ways
Here are some examples of social isolation that young adults with cancer and their support communities may experience:
Physical isolation: The physical isolation that can come with cancer treatment can be especially difficult for adolescents and young adults. They may be unable to attend school or work or miss out on activities they previously enjoyed. This can cause them to feel disconnected from their peers and social networks. Additionally, the physical side effects of treatment can be distressing and make it difficult for them to maintain relationships.
Emotional isolation: Many adolescents and young adults with cancer may feel ashamed or embarrassed about their diagnosis and may be reluctant to share their experiences with others. They may also feel guilty for not being able to participate in activities with their friends, which can lead to feelings of isolation.
Social isolation: Adolescents and young adults with cancer may feel socially isolated due to their peers’ lack of understanding of their condition. They may feel left out of social activities and events and struggle to maintain friendships during treatment.
Isolation felt by the support community.
The social support network can also feel physically, emotionally, and socially isolated. They may feel helpless and unsure of how to support their loved one undergoing cancer treatment. They usually have to take time off work or school or work longer hours to care for their loved one while still tending to their other responsibilities. Supporters may feel disconnected from their own friends and colleagues, feeling that life is passing them by.
With dual responsibilities, they often feel like they have no time to recharge or care for themselves. They may feel angry, frustrated, or left out but unable to express their emotions for fear of coming off as selfish or inconsiderate. Even the healthcare team and support staff can feel isolated due to the demanding nature of their work and the emotional toll of supporting patients with cancer. If you know someone who is caring for a loved one with cancer, whether it is a friend, family member, classmate, student, or work colleague, be sure to keep these challenges in mind and offer support authentic to your relationship.
The importance of staying connected.
Isolation and its effects can differ for each individual, and it is crucial to address and support those experiences. Staying connected can make a big difference, and having a support system of friends and family can provide a sense of normalcy and help them feel less alone in their experience. Additionally, being able to talk openly and honestly about their feelings and experiences can be a powerful way to feel heard, understood, and supported.
Technology can also play a role in staying connected for adolescents and young adults with cancer. Social media and messaging apps can provide a way for them to keep in touch with friends and family, even when they are unable to physically be together. Be mindful of what is said online and recognize that the fear of missing out is a very real issue during cancer treatment. Posts about parties, social gatherings, and other events can amplify the sense that the social network is moving on and they are being left behind. Online support groups can also provide a sense of community and a place for them to connect with others who understand what they are going through.
Another important way to stay connected is by connecting with healthcare professionals and support services. Adolescents and young adults with cancer may benefit from talking with a counselor or therapist who can provide emotional support and guidance. Additionally, support groups specifically for young people with cancer can provide a sense of community and a way to connect with others who are going through similar experiences.
Find Excuses to Connect
In episode 22 of The Support Report with b-present podcast, our guest Richard Lee Thai emphasizes that loneliness is a common feeling and social health is a skill to cultivate. During his conversation with co-hosts Justin Peters and Chiara Riga, he offers several helpful strategies that focus on creating the conditions to make meaningful connections easier, including having better conversations, observing the fear ladder, using connection cards, and much more.
Ways to provide support
Supporting people who feel isolated can be challenging, but there are several ways to provide support. Remember, everyone’s experience with isolation is different, and what works for one person may not work for another. Be open and willing to adjust your approach if needed. Here are some ways to support people who feel isolated:
Listen actively: Try to understand the other person’s perspective. This can help to build understanding and trust.
Be present: Be available to talk or simply be there to hold their hand. Your presence can be a great source of comfort and support.
Communicate: Encourage the person to communicate their feelings and thoughts. This can help them to feel heard and understood.
Offer practical help: Drive them to appointments, help with grocery shopping, or prepare meals. These are all helpful examples.
Connect them with resources: Share online support groups, community organizations, or counseling services that can provide additional support.
Show your support: Gestures such as sending a note or gift or giving them a call can help to validate their feelings and provide a sense of understanding.
Maintain contact: Make an effort to maintain contact through regular phone calls, text messages, or visits.
Be patient and understanding: Remember that isolation is a process that takes time to overcome. Be patient and understanding in your support and approach.
Isolation can have a significant impact on the experience of adolescents and young adults with cancer, but by staying connected, you can make a big difference in their experience. Friends and family can provide a sense of normalcy and emotional support, technology can provide a way to stay in touch, and healthcare professionals and support services can provide guidance and community. Keep in mind that staying connected is an ongoing process, and be patient and understanding when supporting a friend with cancer.
Cancer best friend: a person that you met on your cancer journey that you share your experience with, and someone you can truly lean on for whatever you need during your cancer experience.
We often place more focus on sibling—or parent—relationships when talking about cancer diagnosis and treatment and how they provide support, but we don’t talk as much about the immense importance of friendships.
Friendships during a cancer diagnosis are game-changing. Friendships allow individuals to adjust to the changes cancer brings, have a more positive outlook, and often report a better quality of life. Friendships that are forged as a result of a cancer diagnosis can be some of the strongest bonds, as such a small number of people truly know what a cancer patient is going through. This is the case for Rosalina and Shauna, two best friends on opposite sides of the country who are now best friends after meeting through their cancer diagnoses.
Cancer Best Friends: Shauna and Rosalina
Shauna and Rosalina, both diagnosed with hormone-positive breast cancer before age 35, met through a Facebook support group where both had an intense desire to start a podcast to share their cancer experience.
“What I’ve learned [breast cancer] happens more in older women and not necessarily younger women. I felt really alone, and then I just woke up the day after my mastectomy surgery and thought, I’m sick of being angry and feeling alone.
I joined all these Facebook support groups and posted to each, sharing my story and asking if there’s anyone out there around my age that has a similar experience and wants to be a co-host of a podcast with me.
I met Shauna, and I felt like when we did our first zoom meeting together, I just thought that we clicked automatically. I kept thinking about Shauna for like the next couple of days and finally realized she would be a perfect fit for this podcast, and she is so. I’m super glad to have met her.”
Too Young For This Sh*t
Together Shauna and Rosalina started the podcast ‘Too Young For This Shit’ with the mission to bring awareness of breast cancer to young women and create a supportive space where no one is alone on this journey. In episodes, they dive deep into their treatment plans, journeys, struggles, and mental health as they navigate life in their “new” normal.
Even though they are on opposite sides of the country, they have been there for each other and have learned from each other along the way.
“I don’t think I could do it without her. I wouldn’t be where I am right now without her. We are such a good team, we have gone through our cancer journeys together, even on different chemo regimens, and we still had each other’s backs throughout the entire time. We are always texting and on the phone. I’m crying. She’s crying. I try to be super funny at certain times where she is super serious.”
What Shauna and Rosalina Taught Us
A few pieces of advice that we learned from Shauna and Rosalina on what friendship means during a cancer experience include:
Laugh together: Be humorous and funny in the right situations and when needed. A funny story, meme, or joke can help lighten the mood and make your friend’s day.
Allow space for all emotions (including sadness and frustration): Be a safe and open space for your friend to feel whatever emotion they need to express. Do not steer away from uncomfortable topics or emotions.
Talk about topics other than cancer: Your friend is still the same person they were before their diagnosis. Ask about interests, hobbies, or other topics they enjoy. Do you both enjoy a podcast, book series, TV show? Talk about your shared interests to allow them to take a break from talking about their cancer.
Ask permission: Asking is always a good place to start. Ask how they want to be supported that day. If they are up for a visit, ask if you can ask questions or talk about certain topics. More important than asking is to ask in a way that your friend knows that saying ‘no’ is a totally valid and acceptable answer.
